One year down, 1.25 years to go.....

Well, we did it! Today we have officially survived our first year of cancer. I must say that it feels much better to be where we are right now, than it felt a year ago.

{A look back at Rylee through her first year of cancer. }

It actually feels like the year went by surprisingly fast, yet there were a lot days, some very hard days within that year. It stirs up a lot of deep emotion for me as I reflect back on this past year. Considering where we have been and where we are today, I must say that ultimately, I am just so grateful that we have arrived. So glad to see that year behind us. I really hope that I never have to endure one that like that again.

Last year, when we were in route to Primary Children's, aboard Life Flight, I knew that we were in for it. I looked around... Rylee was laying there, very lethargic with an IV coming out of the top of her head. Two nurses were monitoring her every breath and held a bag of blood on ice, ready to transfuse at any moment in flight ....I realized at that moment that life as we knew it was gone. We still had so many questions and answers and many unknowns, but I knew that this would be a defining moment in our lives, something that would change everything.

{Who said kids don't come with an instruction manual? Kids with cancer do. This is our cancer bible that we were sent home with from PCMC. I've read it cover to cover. If you ever need to do a report, I've got references galore!}

And you know what? It has. Absolutely. The journey has been unexplainable. It's been difficult on so many levels. We lost health, we lost a piece of Rylee, we watched her morph from one thing to the next as effects of chemo, drugs and poor health set in. We've been in and out of hospitals, went from one procedure to the next, from this lab to that appointment, have diligently given some type of medication daily. We've fought several battles, had many inconveniences, a few set backs and have had our hearts broken more than once. We've been sanitized, isolated and had to miss out a time or two. There have been highs, lows, frustrations and tender mercies.

But you know what? It has all been worth it. This is Rylee today. She has grown up on us in the middle of the fight of her life. She was a baby of 18 months at diagnosis and is now a 2.5 year old little lady. She's now in a big girl bed and is learning how to use the potty. When we arrived at Primary Children's we were told that she was lucky to be alive. Her blood counts were at a dangerously low level. That shakes you. When I look at all that we've gone through, no matter what-- it has been worth it. Worth it to have her here with us, worth it to experience these milestones, worth it to hear her laugh and listen to her talk and remind us what life is all about and what really matters.

She's not been feeling great today. She had treatment (spinal tap + chemo) on Monday and she's starting to feel it. She's also a litle emotional from her montly dose of steroids this week. This has all become part of our new normal. But, we'll continue fighting. We'll get her well. I really feel like the worst of it is behind us.

{Wow! Look at all that hair. Thanks $8 Hannah Montana wig}

So..tonight we're going to enjoy a very normal night as a family. Something that we didn't have for much of the year. Today is a celebration. A celebration of our survivor, Rylee. To celebrate what we've gotten through, to celebrate what is behind us, to celebrate what we've learned.

"There is no obstacle too great, no challenge too difficult, if we have faith." (President Gordon B. Hinckley)

{Heads Up: While I've shared much of our journey on our blog, there are several aspects that I feel have been left out. I could honestly write a book about many aspects of our experience, but who has the time to write a book? Certainly not me. Instead, I've decided to share a little more depth of our experience during this month that marks our one year cancer anniversary. This is really more for our family history than anything, as I plan to do a blog book, so I'm sorry if it feels like I'm beating a dead horse. }