Cherishing This....

Lately, I've just been loving all of Jace's drawings and how good he's getting at writing his name and stuff. He's really been into getting a notebook and writing different things. I love to discover all of his new art and the new things he's learning about.

He's very careful when he colors to stay in the lines because it's kindof a big deal at preschool if you "scribble". Needless to say, he's a good colorer. I also love the way he draws people. I have a ton of pictures similar to this one that he draws. I'll have to take a picture of the one he drew at church on Sunday because it included our baby brother and was so cute of our whole family. Sometimes kids just catch you off guard. He wasn't really into drawing or working on letters or anything for a really long time & this year he found interest. I love that you can pretty well tell what it is too. You know those early pictures when you're like, "oh, that's a nice.....(whatever it's supposed to be)"

Also cherishing my "two". Am I the only one that gets sentimental about adding another to the mix? I remember feeling the same way before Rylee was born- just the feeling of going to miss the "one". Then you get two and you can't imagine life without them, etc.

Jace & Rylee really have a special bond. Jace always calls her his little sweetheart and it's just so cute when they look out for each other, give each other hugs and kisses and miss each other when they're apart. They love to snuggle on the couch and watch T.V. together in the mornings and they have fun together.

She's like his little mother hen. If Jace stands up on the chairs or something Rylee will say, "No, no, no" or she'll have these little yelling sprees at him-it's so funny. She calls him "ba", I think for brother? Jace on the other hand, is very protective of Rylee. He gets the "big eyes" if we're around someone with a bad cough or something because he's aware of the germs and wants to protect Rylee from getting sick. If she's playing with cousins or someone, Jace always volunteers to go & play with them and he really looks after her (he doesn't want anyone to break her central line again). It is the sweetest thing each night as he says his prayers. He always blesses Rylee that her Leukemia will go away and that she'll get better.

We really couldn't of asked for a better boy than Jace- he's a great big brother!

We really do have good kids.

January Wrap Up

January! I can't believe it's already gone. Here's a little blurb about our January memories.

Jace & Justin had a little father/son camp out in the living room. Jace got a new Spiderman sleeping bag for Christmas, so they had to break it in. Only boys were allowed- they watched a movie, ate snacks (Jace got them all ready-crackers and a juice box) and snuggled up next to the fireplace. They had a great time.

One of the funniest things that happened was the next morning when we were cleaning things up. We've had Rylee's kitchen set out in the kitchen, so the play food is often scattered about. While picking things up, I noticed one of the play hot dogs under the couch, so me, trying to be funny, said, "Hey there's a weenie under the couch, did anyone loose one?" Jace takes a quick look down his pants and says, "no...I didn't, did you dad?" Classic.

We celebrated Justin's 29th birthday on Jan. 14. The kids would hardly let him in the door before having him open his present. He got some basketball socks, a new jacket and some fleece lounge pants. (Amongst other things that he returned-classic Justin). We had celebrated with cake and ice cream the Sunday before with my family. The night of his b-day, him & I went on a little date, well, if you consider dropping our microwave off to get repaired and attending a free dinner put on by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society a date. We also quickly strolled the mall and hit up Cold Stone-so it counts.

This month brought a little tear to Justin's eye as we said good bye to the old Acura. That oil leaking, 1988 luxury car with 319,000 miles, a rumbling muffler and bald back tire (did I mention the built-in car phone in the middle console?) was sold in one day on Craig's List. Oh yes, a pot smoking (or at least smelling) guy that works at Sears paid cash & off it went. Of course, as it rumbled out of the drive way, Jus says, "I should've asked more for it- it's hard to let a good car go."

Jace was a little disappointed- he always called it his dad's noisy car and decided it was his race car (after going to a demolition derby) and wanted us to hold onto it for him to drive when he got bigger. I think he'll thank us for it later. Every mile a memory with that car though- Justin has been driving it since his senior year in high school. He is now lucky enough to upgrade to my high school car-a 1996 Honda Accord. For the whole 10 miles to and from work he goes, I'd say it's just fine!

We've had a bit of sledding fun too (not me in my pregnant glory, but Jus & kids). We finally upgraded from the cookie sheet we used last year and actually bought a real sled. We've gone out to G&G Taylor's house a few time- you know, for the awesome slopes of Menan. Just kidding- they've had a lot of fun playing with their cousins and getting pulled by the snow machine out in those wide open spaces.

Rylee has absolutely LOVED going outside. She's like a scene out of the movie A Christmas Story, "I can't put my arms down." She wore this old snowsuit and boots that were passed down from one of my nephews and it's pretty much hilarious. Regardless, she loves walking around in the snow and being outdoors. I think she has a bit of cabin fever since we've kept her so isolated this winter. I'm so glad she's been feeling well enough to get out and about. We can hardly get her to come in and she just loves touching the snow with her hands.

And finally, we decided to take a spontaneous trip to Salt Lake a few weekends ago for a little furniture shopping and getaway. We stayed a night with my sister Allison & her husband, Thomas, and just shopped and came back the next day. Sometimes that's all you need. The kids liked to try out the new Suburb on a little road trip and I think we all just needed a fast break. Just for the record though, no furniture was bought. When you want it, you can't find it- go figure!

I'd say the kid's favorite part was riding the elevators at Macy's. They could have done that all day.

I'd Rather Take the Tram

Anyone else sick of the Cafe Rio post? I'm over it. I've been getting a lot of texts, emails and phone calls, so I figured I better give everyone an update. No...I haven't had the baby yet & I'll try to get around to returning calls, etc. later this week.

Ahhh....what a crazy week it's been! Last week was kind of the calm before the storm and this week.....well, the storm has now hit. On January 19, Rylee finished up her consolidation phase, which lasted through December and January. So, we got her new "road map" (a.k.a. treatment plan) at the end of January and had about a week and a half of some down time to gear up for the last (and final) phase before she hits "maintenance" (another phase that will last for almost 2 years).

To compare going through a trial to climbing a mountain is so unoriginal, but it really is a good analogy. We've been on this hike & it's had some harder points and easier points, a few switch-backs and many calluses, but the view has changed us and the help up has been incredible. As we go along, we're getting the hang of things, it's not feeling as challenging, we're just walking along, trying to enjoy things regardless, but ready to get to the top. At points you get tired, you want to give up, quit, but we've made it this far and we know that it will feel great at the end, so we keep climbing. We know that it will feel like victory when it's over, feel as if we've succeeded, we'll feel blessed, relieved, inspired. You know, all the things that the view from the top holds in store.

However, as I was trying to gear up for this week, I honestly just wished that I could take the tram. You know, the easy way up. I always get a little apprehensive when we switch from one phase to the next, not knowing how Rylee will respond/react. I worry for her, my heart breaks that this is her reality. I wish she didn't have to go through all of it. This last phase is called "Delayed Intensification", basically because it's a very intense hit right at the end. They told us about this phase at the beginning and described it as the "one, two punch." Just when you're feeling pretty good about things, this last phase kind of comes in and knocks you down.

And so...we're here. On the uphill climb once again. There are a combination of things that make this phase difficult. (Besides being in the heat of tax season and trying to prepare for another child plus a c-section recovery). There is just a lot more going on and it's very reminiscent of our first initial month after diagnosis. She gets a bunch of different kinds of chemo & gets it more often.

She started things on Monday. We had a nice long 6 hour day, which included a spinal tap and 2 hits of chemo through her line. Not to mention some Benadryl for a nasty rash that her dressing is causing her. We've had to change her dressing nearly every day, because her skin is so irritated, she'll pull them off. I don't blame her. She also started back on the steroids 2 times/day and we'll be back at the Dr. tomorrow for a PEG (chemo) shot given into her thigh. Poor thing. She had to get this shot at the first as well and it contributed to Rylee's regression with walking when we first got home. I hope that she'll do okay.

The new chemo they're incorporating this month is called Doxorubicin. It's had me pretty worried because they've said it's pretty harsh. It had to be given very carefully and it has weird side effects like pinkish/red urine, kind of a purply look around her eyes plus mouth sores and the Dr. is pretty sure this bad boy will take the rest of her hair. I had a pretty good break down Sunday night trying to prepare for it all. She isn't feeling great & has been pretty mopey the last few days, but will still play off and on. She has to get it 2 more times though this month and often side effects won't kick in for 3-7 days after the chemo is given. She's already gotten one mouth sore and the urine stuff has already passed. We have to wear gloves when changing her diaper for 24-48 hours after chemo is given because it comes out through the urine. I especially have to be careful since I'm pregnant- just an added component to it all. But, we're past that now. Her hair has thinned a bit more in the last few days. It makes me sad.

After tomorrow, she'll get treatment for the next two Monday's- just the chemo, not spinal taps. She'll get to go off the steroids next week, but will start up again the following week. This will all wrap up Feb. 17 (steroids will continue the entire week). We'll then have a two day breather, and baby brother is scheduled to be born Feb. 19. I'll probably have a 3-4 day stay in the hospital, come home and try to heal for a week and then we'll jump back into it all March 2.

On March 2, everything gets scrambled once again. Another spinal tap, 2 new chemo drugs and a new oral medication (given at home for about half the month). One of the new chemo drugs will take 1 hour to administer. That is longer and way bigger dosage than Rylee has ever had. The other chemo drug doesn't take that long to administer, but she has to get it every single day for 4 consecutive days, take a 4 day break, then go back and get it for another 4 consecutive days. Cancer treatment really is no fun.

This makes me tired just thinking about it. I'm sure you all understand why I'd rather take the tram. I can't even picture adding a nursing newborn, crazy hormones and all the other post pardom stuff into this whole scenario. My life has NEVER been crazier. Pray that a tram might come our way. We'll desperately need the view from the top!

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So... besides coping with cancer, this week has been full of driving carpool, taking Jace to speech, my Dr. appointment, hosting an enrichment activity at my house tonight, been trying to organize/delegate stuff for the Relief Society Birthday Dinner that will happen on March 5, which basically won't happen if I don't figure it out now. I'm putting together a slide show presentation for it & I've got to wrap it up by Sunday or else it's not going to happen either. I'm just so thankful that I have a committee and that everyone is so willing to share the load and carry this out for me. And, of course, we're trying to get used to Justin's earlier, longer plus Saturday hours. I've got some funner stuff to post about the better things in January...but we've got to be at speech by 8:45 tomorrow morning, followed by preschool, followed by Rylee's Dr. appointment, so I'll do it another day. Enough for tonight.