Cherishing This....

Lately, I've just been loving all of Jace's drawings and how good he's getting at writing his name and stuff. He's really been into getting a notebook and writing different things. I love to discover all of his new art and the new things he's learning about.

He's very careful when he colors to stay in the lines because it's kindof a big deal at preschool if you "scribble". Needless to say, he's a good colorer. I also love the way he draws people. I have a ton of pictures similar to this one that he draws. I'll have to take a picture of the one he drew at church on Sunday because it included our baby brother and was so cute of our whole family. Sometimes kids just catch you off guard. He wasn't really into drawing or working on letters or anything for a really long time & this year he found interest. I love that you can pretty well tell what it is too. You know those early pictures when you're like, "oh, that's a nice.....(whatever it's supposed to be)"

Also cherishing my "two". Am I the only one that gets sentimental about adding another to the mix? I remember feeling the same way before Rylee was born- just the feeling of going to miss the "one". Then you get two and you can't imagine life without them, etc.

Jace & Rylee really have a special bond. Jace always calls her his little sweetheart and it's just so cute when they look out for each other, give each other hugs and kisses and miss each other when they're apart. They love to snuggle on the couch and watch T.V. together in the mornings and they have fun together.

She's like his little mother hen. If Jace stands up on the chairs or something Rylee will say, "No, no, no" or she'll have these little yelling sprees at him-it's so funny. She calls him "ba", I think for brother? Jace on the other hand, is very protective of Rylee. He gets the "big eyes" if we're around someone with a bad cough or something because he's aware of the germs and wants to protect Rylee from getting sick. If she's playing with cousins or someone, Jace always volunteers to go & play with them and he really looks after her (he doesn't want anyone to break her central line again). It is the sweetest thing each night as he says his prayers. He always blesses Rylee that her Leukemia will go away and that she'll get better.

We really couldn't of asked for a better boy than Jace- he's a great big brother!

We really do have good kids.

January Wrap Up

January! I can't believe it's already gone. Here's a little blurb about our January memories.

Jace & Justin had a little father/son camp out in the living room. Jace got a new Spiderman sleeping bag for Christmas, so they had to break it in. Only boys were allowed- they watched a movie, ate snacks (Jace got them all ready-crackers and a juice box) and snuggled up next to the fireplace. They had a great time.

One of the funniest things that happened was the next morning when we were cleaning things up. We've had Rylee's kitchen set out in the kitchen, so the play food is often scattered about. While picking things up, I noticed one of the play hot dogs under the couch, so me, trying to be funny, said, "Hey there's a weenie under the couch, did anyone loose one?" Jace takes a quick look down his pants and says, "no...I didn't, did you dad?" Classic.

We celebrated Justin's 29th birthday on Jan. 14. The kids would hardly let him in the door before having him open his present. He got some basketball socks, a new jacket and some fleece lounge pants. (Amongst other things that he returned-classic Justin). We had celebrated with cake and ice cream the Sunday before with my family. The night of his b-day, him & I went on a little date, well, if you consider dropping our microwave off to get repaired and attending a free dinner put on by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society a date. We also quickly strolled the mall and hit up Cold Stone-so it counts.

This month brought a little tear to Justin's eye as we said good bye to the old Acura. That oil leaking, 1988 luxury car with 319,000 miles, a rumbling muffler and bald back tire (did I mention the built-in car phone in the middle console?) was sold in one day on Craig's List. Oh yes, a pot smoking (or at least smelling) guy that works at Sears paid cash & off it went. Of course, as it rumbled out of the drive way, Jus says, "I should've asked more for it- it's hard to let a good car go."

Jace was a little disappointed- he always called it his dad's noisy car and decided it was his race car (after going to a demolition derby) and wanted us to hold onto it for him to drive when he got bigger. I think he'll thank us for it later. Every mile a memory with that car though- Justin has been driving it since his senior year in high school. He is now lucky enough to upgrade to my high school car-a 1996 Honda Accord. For the whole 10 miles to and from work he goes, I'd say it's just fine!

We've had a bit of sledding fun too (not me in my pregnant glory, but Jus & kids). We finally upgraded from the cookie sheet we used last year and actually bought a real sled. We've gone out to G&G Taylor's house a few time- you know, for the awesome slopes of Menan. Just kidding- they've had a lot of fun playing with their cousins and getting pulled by the snow machine out in those wide open spaces.

Rylee has absolutely LOVED going outside. She's like a scene out of the movie A Christmas Story, "I can't put my arms down." She wore this old snowsuit and boots that were passed down from one of my nephews and it's pretty much hilarious. Regardless, she loves walking around in the snow and being outdoors. I think she has a bit of cabin fever since we've kept her so isolated this winter. I'm so glad she's been feeling well enough to get out and about. We can hardly get her to come in and she just loves touching the snow with her hands.

And finally, we decided to take a spontaneous trip to Salt Lake a few weekends ago for a little furniture shopping and getaway. We stayed a night with my sister Allison & her husband, Thomas, and just shopped and came back the next day. Sometimes that's all you need. The kids liked to try out the new Suburb on a little road trip and I think we all just needed a fast break. Just for the record though, no furniture was bought. When you want it, you can't find it- go figure!

I'd say the kid's favorite part was riding the elevators at Macy's. They could have done that all day.

I'd Rather Take the Tram

Anyone else sick of the Cafe Rio post? I'm over it. I've been getting a lot of texts, emails and phone calls, so I figured I better give everyone an update. No...I haven't had the baby yet & I'll try to get around to returning calls, etc. later this week.

Ahhh....what a crazy week it's been! Last week was kind of the calm before the storm and this week.....well, the storm has now hit. On January 19, Rylee finished up her consolidation phase, which lasted through December and January. So, we got her new "road map" (a.k.a. treatment plan) at the end of January and had about a week and a half of some down time to gear up for the last (and final) phase before she hits "maintenance" (another phase that will last for almost 2 years).

To compare going through a trial to climbing a mountain is so unoriginal, but it really is a good analogy. We've been on this hike & it's had some harder points and easier points, a few switch-backs and many calluses, but the view has changed us and the help up has been incredible. As we go along, we're getting the hang of things, it's not feeling as challenging, we're just walking along, trying to enjoy things regardless, but ready to get to the top. At points you get tired, you want to give up, quit, but we've made it this far and we know that it will feel great at the end, so we keep climbing. We know that it will feel like victory when it's over, feel as if we've succeeded, we'll feel blessed, relieved, inspired. You know, all the things that the view from the top holds in store.

However, as I was trying to gear up for this week, I honestly just wished that I could take the tram. You know, the easy way up. I always get a little apprehensive when we switch from one phase to the next, not knowing how Rylee will respond/react. I worry for her, my heart breaks that this is her reality. I wish she didn't have to go through all of it. This last phase is called "Delayed Intensification", basically because it's a very intense hit right at the end. They told us about this phase at the beginning and described it as the "one, two punch." Just when you're feeling pretty good about things, this last phase kind of comes in and knocks you down.

And so...we're here. On the uphill climb once again. There are a combination of things that make this phase difficult. (Besides being in the heat of tax season and trying to prepare for another child plus a c-section recovery). There is just a lot more going on and it's very reminiscent of our first initial month after diagnosis. She gets a bunch of different kinds of chemo & gets it more often.

She started things on Monday. We had a nice long 6 hour day, which included a spinal tap and 2 hits of chemo through her line. Not to mention some Benadryl for a nasty rash that her dressing is causing her. We've had to change her dressing nearly every day, because her skin is so irritated, she'll pull them off. I don't blame her. She also started back on the steroids 2 times/day and we'll be back at the Dr. tomorrow for a PEG (chemo) shot given into her thigh. Poor thing. She had to get this shot at the first as well and it contributed to Rylee's regression with walking when we first got home. I hope that she'll do okay.

The new chemo they're incorporating this month is called Doxorubicin. It's had me pretty worried because they've said it's pretty harsh. It had to be given very carefully and it has weird side effects like pinkish/red urine, kind of a purply look around her eyes plus mouth sores and the Dr. is pretty sure this bad boy will take the rest of her hair. I had a pretty good break down Sunday night trying to prepare for it all. She isn't feeling great & has been pretty mopey the last few days, but will still play off and on. She has to get it 2 more times though this month and often side effects won't kick in for 3-7 days after the chemo is given. She's already gotten one mouth sore and the urine stuff has already passed. We have to wear gloves when changing her diaper for 24-48 hours after chemo is given because it comes out through the urine. I especially have to be careful since I'm pregnant- just an added component to it all. But, we're past that now. Her hair has thinned a bit more in the last few days. It makes me sad.

After tomorrow, she'll get treatment for the next two Monday's- just the chemo, not spinal taps. She'll get to go off the steroids next week, but will start up again the following week. This will all wrap up Feb. 17 (steroids will continue the entire week). We'll then have a two day breather, and baby brother is scheduled to be born Feb. 19. I'll probably have a 3-4 day stay in the hospital, come home and try to heal for a week and then we'll jump back into it all March 2.

On March 2, everything gets scrambled once again. Another spinal tap, 2 new chemo drugs and a new oral medication (given at home for about half the month). One of the new chemo drugs will take 1 hour to administer. That is longer and way bigger dosage than Rylee has ever had. The other chemo drug doesn't take that long to administer, but she has to get it every single day for 4 consecutive days, take a 4 day break, then go back and get it for another 4 consecutive days. Cancer treatment really is no fun.

This makes me tired just thinking about it. I'm sure you all understand why I'd rather take the tram. I can't even picture adding a nursing newborn, crazy hormones and all the other post pardom stuff into this whole scenario. My life has NEVER been crazier. Pray that a tram might come our way. We'll desperately need the view from the top!

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So... besides coping with cancer, this week has been full of driving carpool, taking Jace to speech, my Dr. appointment, hosting an enrichment activity at my house tonight, been trying to organize/delegate stuff for the Relief Society Birthday Dinner that will happen on March 5, which basically won't happen if I don't figure it out now. I'm putting together a slide show presentation for it & I've got to wrap it up by Sunday or else it's not going to happen either. I'm just so thankful that I have a committee and that everyone is so willing to share the load and carry this out for me. And, of course, we're trying to get used to Justin's earlier, longer plus Saturday hours. I've got some funner stuff to post about the better things in January...but we've got to be at speech by 8:45 tomorrow morning, followed by preschool, followed by Rylee's Dr. appointment, so I'll do it another day. Enough for tonight.

No way....

I heard a little rumor, googled it & found out that it is true....Cafe Rio is coming to Idaho Falls! Looks like it's in this new plaza by the the Teton Spectrum.

My list of "Things I wish Idaho had to offer" just got smaller. We were just in Salt Lake this weekend, eating our beloved Cafe Rio, wondering why it doesn't expand to Idaho- it's a cash cow in Utah. Always busy & always yummy! It's always a sure stop when we go there (along with Nielson's Frozen Custard).

I'm just shocked. I LOVE the pork salad. Bajio doesn't even compare....at all in my opinion. That just made my day. Anyone up for lunch?

What are the chances....

Something that's been on my mind this past week is chances. You know, the chance of something happening or not. I guess it all started with the Hudson River plane crash. As I was watching Larry King's coverage of this, one of the passengers said that he just felt incredibly blessed, essentially that he had been part of a miracle. He said that the chances of surviving a plane crash were slim to none (something like 1 in a billion). I also heard that the co-pilot pointed out to the pilot (after they were rescued) that he was the only pilot to ever pull off a successful "ditch." Seriously, what are the chances that first of all, a flock of birds would cause a plane crash, and second, that all 150 passengers survived? Incredible!

Then all the talk of the upcoming Inauguration caused me to think about the chances of the United States ever having a black President. Whether we like it or not, history is being made. I remember at the first of the elections, I thought what are chances of a minority (a woman, a Mormon or a black person) actually getting elected as president? Now the chance has been given.

We know a little bit about chances...whether they are for or against you. Did you know that only 1 in 29,000 children are diagnosed with ALL (Leukemia)? Believe me, I never thought that the chances of having my child be the one was possible. It's just not something that you ever actually think about happening, I mean really, what are the chances?

This isn't the first time that we've been part of a statistic. When I pregnant with Jace, our ultrasound found Choroid Plexus Cysts on his brain. (Basically these are pockets of cerebral spinal fluid that typically fill in as the pregnancy progresses. They are essentially harmless if that's the case, but on an ultrasound, they can also be indicators of chromosome abnormalities.)We were told that these cysts only occur in about 1% of fetuses, however, about 95% of the time, it turns out to be nothing. As you can imagine, being my first pregnancy and all, I was pretty shocked. "What are the chances that we are the 1%?" I wondered. With some additional testing, all was well, and we fell into the 95% statistic-chances being for us.

So...this week was a week of preparations of sorts for us. First, we got enrolled and set up for the cord blood banking process. We were advised to bank some cord blood of our new baby since we are in the situation that we are in. We were eligible for a free banking service for people in situations such as ours, so we decided to take advantage of the opportunity. What are the chances that we'll ever use the stem cells? We're not sure. We hope that standard/traditional treatment will take care of things, but we want to be prepared just in case.

We also attended a seminar/free dinner put on by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Foundation this week. The topic centered around childhood cancer survivors and re-entry/entry into the education system. They discussed the late-effects (cognitive, phychological, emotional, etc.) of cancer treatments and risk factors, etc. I'm a big believer in becoming educated on what's ahead for us. However, some of what I learned can be disturbing. What are the chances of all or some of these effects actually happening to Rylee? We don't know & could possibly not know for years. That's why they're called late effects. Basically it made me realize that we're really between a rock and a hard spot. If we rejected doing chemo, cancer could overtake her body, spine, central nervous system or brain. If we stick to traditional treatment, the chemo can and most likely will have at least some lasting negative effects. Will Rylee beat all the odds? I guess we'll take our chances.

So here's my take on chances. I don't really think it's as much about chances, as it is about a plan. A divine plan. Full of agency, as well as divine intervention. I guess I don't buy into all the statistics. I believe that anything is possible. If it's possible for 150 passengers to survive a plane crash, if it's possible for a minority to be elected to a prominent position, then it's certainly possible for Rylee to have a successful outcome. That's a chance that I truly hope we'll be blessed to have.

You are special, especially today!

Happy, happy birthday Justin dear! We sure hope you have a great 29th year. If we had one wish, then it would be...A Happy, happy birthday to you from me!

Justin celebrates another year today. What a guy he is: An adoring dad, helpful husband and just an overall good person. So thankful for him!

They Get It!

Monday night means Family Home Evening at our house (or Family Home Meeting as Jace calls it). It kills me just how "into" FHE our kids are. I'll take advantage of it before they loose their excitement for it though. Although I am usually the one who is planning on doing the lesson, it typically gets taken over by the kids.

Tonight was so funny. First, Rylee was in charge of the song. She opens up the Children's song book, we start singing "Happy Family". Rylee's swinging her arm as if to lead, babbling/ shouting/singing her own version as she walks around the room tapping us all on the head-going round and round the room. (Because at Music Makers, which we attended today, we touch the child's head we're saying hello to during the hello song).

I get a few words in, but am quickly upstaged by Jace. Every week before FHE starts, he goes and gathers all of his church books. Including a quiet book, his scriptures and a gospel principles A to Z book that I made when he was a baby. It has actually proven to be quite effective in teaching him stuff about the gospel. Anyway...he passes his scriptures to Justin and tells him he'll have a part later, then says, "Everyone hold up your scriptures if you brought them". Pretty sure he learned that from primary. Then he randomly flips through the gospel principles book and proceeds with his lesson, which was in quiz form. It went something like this:

Jace: "Okay, do we talk loud in the temple or not?" We then answer no.
Jace: "Do we get coffee, I mean, milk or water during the sacrament? Our answer water.
Jace: "Okay, then do we get dog food, cow or horse food or bread? Laughing, we say bread.
Jace: "Do we run all around the room in primary or sit quietly and raise ours hands? He's good, I think to myself. We then answer appropriately.

Anyway...it went on for awhile until he then got silly- telling very made up knock, knock jokes. I then intervene, give the real lesson in a very short amount of time. I'm trying to follow what they'll be doing in Primary this year, so we focused on the first paragraph of the Family Proclamation tonight. I showed some road signs, asked what they were and what would happen if we didn't follow the laws of the road. Talked about how the prophets have also given us laws to follow. Showed our wedding picture- talked about how marriage should be between a man and a woman. Jace thought it was way too funny when I asked, "what if dad would have married a boy, would that be right?" I showed a family picture and we talked about the importance of a family and what makes up a family (or named who was in our family). That's about all I got. We sang "Families Can Be Together", said family prayer and called it a night.

Short & sweet, but it gives you reassurance that they really do get it. Even if it's very little or short, they'll remember it. And it's so funny when they teach it back to you.