The Most Tender Daddy

Today is Tax Day!

 

I thought I'd dedicate this post to Justin, who has been tied up with tax season during all of our hoopla with Reese. He's had a lot on his plate and I must say that he does pretty well under pressure. He always manages to keep a steady head and do his best to fulfill all of his obligations to everyone- work, church calling, me and the kids.

One of Reese's nurses always comments to me on how tender Justin is with Reese. He is very gentle with her and prides himself on holding so still whenever he holds her. He is a tender heart, that Justin.

He has had a really pure love for Reese from the first moments. He followed her into the reviving room when I was still on the operating table. He quietly sat back as the medical team revived our baby girl- taping the moment for me to see later.

 

He later said that he had no idea that the team was having quite a difficult time getting her going. A little while later, he brought his phone in to show me the first pictures of our baby. He said that she is really tiny, but she's cute. He asked if I had decided for sure on a name. I was so completely overwhelmed at that moment- it had been a hard run with bed rest and the c-section was very difficult and I was not feeling well. He said that all the NICU nurses had voted on Reese (it was between Reese or Maddy). That sounded good to me.

 

I think we've both experienced this differently. We've each had our role. In the beginning, I was still trying to recover and Justin was the one that was taking on all the information, Dr's explanations, etc. I was keeping things at an arms length because it was all very difficult for me. Justin was the one keeping the kids going at home as well as helping me recover and figuring out the whole NICU thing.

The hospital social worker came to talk to me a few weeks after Reese was born. She was wondering how my husband was- she said, "the last time I talked to him, I was telling him a lot of stuff and I was just getting the deer in the headlights look." We were both sufficiently overwhelmed and a social worker at that moment was just a little intrusive.

It has taken both of us plus a team of family, friends and neighbors to get through this. Justin has been a wonderful supporter. I would say that maybe  I've experienced this a little more first hand- being at the hospital, handling Reese, learning the whole process of things, etc. However, Justin has been there in a different role- providing for our family, handling the thousands of medical bills, being there for our other kids, arranging help, offering several priesthood blessings and being my rock- very few people understand this. But Reese is our daughter...so we both understand and we know we can rely and lean on each other.

While I got to hold Reese on her second day of life, Justin didn't hold her until she was about a month old. We couldn't handle her much and he just understood and wanted me to be the one to hold her when we could. He's been very unselfish and has taken care of things at home or with the other kids so I could be there with Reese.

He's had obligations at work to fulfill so his time has been more limited with Reese. He usually just gets to see her once a week and I'm sure that's hard on him. He's been my shoulder to cry on with all of the up and down emotions that this has brought on. I just cannot say enough about how much of a helpmate he is for me. It is very common for him to come home from a long day at work and start doing dishes or picking up the house or helping a child with homework or make dinner- whatever he sees that still needs done. I've always appreciated him so much for his willingness to do whatever needs to be done.

Justin is really good at being the calm in the storm. He doesn't over-react, he likes to hope for the best and he likes to make it all seem effortless. His famous words are "We're Fine!" I've begged to differ a few times, but I'm grateful that he can keep me somewhat calm and keep things in perspective. One night while I was at the hospital on bed rest, I was talking to my neighbor and she said that she stopped by my house and Justin had it all together- the house was clean, Rylee's hair was curled and he was in the kitchen making cookies. Who would have guessed by that picture that our world was falling apart? {Not to take anything away from Justin, but our neighbor had provided dinner, another neighbor who had watched Rylee that morning curled her hair and due to the generous help of ward members, our house was being maintained from their cleaning:)} But...he honestly is that great.

And he loves Reese. Each night he scrolls through my pictures on my phone that I've taken of her from that day. He often sends me texts or calls while I'm at the hospital to check in and see how things are going for her.

Her respiratory rate always races when Justin holds her. I'd like to think that she's pretty excited about having him for a daddy.

I'm so glad that tax season is over and that Justin can enjoy a little more of our family life and time with Reese. Hopefully soon our whole family will be together and we can move onto the next phase of this journey.

I think Reese really resembles Justin as a baby. Pretty sweet little girl.....and pretty sweet guy too!  Our nurse is right- he is the most tender daddy. 

 

 

And I'm grateful that we made it through another cursed tax season!

 

In your prayers:

1. Keep praying for good growth for the vessels in her eyes (exam on Thursday)

2. Pray that her lungs will get stronger

3. Pray that she will be able to do her feeding sucessfully

4. Pray for her healing, growth and development (including that her organs and body functions can work properly)

 

Thank you for your love and support