Full of Thanks

It's been a hard year. We've basically been on the "needy" list. Therefore, my heart is very full of thanks for so many who have helped us, served us, prayed for us and loved us. This Thanksgiving I wanted to record a few examples of unbelievable love and kindness given to our family. So many wonderful people have touched our lives this year.

One thing I've realized is that sometimes you have to lose some things to really realize how much you have. Ironic, but true. We have much to be grateful for.

So thankful for....

A strong support system: You know how some people wonder who would come to their funeral if they died? Well, having a tragedy in your family answers a similar question. Right after Rylee was diagnosed, we sent an email out to friends/family as a way to eliminate having to talk on the phone individually to everyone. I remember by the following day, I had something like 65 emails in my inbox (and that was just the first day, several followed later). Friends had forwarded it to friends, family forwarded it to family, Justin's co-workers were informed, neighbors passed it along and this amazing ripple effect happened. I completely broke down and was so overwhelmed by the outpouring of love we received. It totally gave me strength to realize how many people cared for us and were there willing to help in any way. We had people offering their homes to stay at, cars to use, food to be brought in, some sent scripture references for comfort, others offered names/resources of people they knew that went through something similar. I have saved and completely cherish these emails.

Our Blog: I know some people think blogs are stupid, but for me, it has been a great way to document our journey and share our experience with others. It's been completely therapeutic for me as well. I am sincerely thankful to all of our blog readers. You have been so supportive and encouraging. I appreciate your interest, concern and all of your kind comments. They have really kept me going and helped a lot on the hard days. I know at times it's been a little heavy, but thank you for letting me share.

Faith: I am eternally thankful for those who have kept our names in the temples and Rylee and our family in your prayers. There's just no way to describe the feeling of knowing that so many people are hoping, wishing and praying for the things that you so deeply desire in your heart. I've had strangers tell me that they have fasted on our behalf and others say that their testimonies have been strengthened through our experience. That's incredible to be a part of. It was so cute one day at church. Jace's little buddy came up to him and asked him how his sister was doing, then proceeded to tell Jace that his family has been praying for her. A couple other little neighbor girls also include Rylee in every prayer. How sweet.

Unexpected Service: I guess that some service is kind of expected-like people bringing you dinner after you have a baby or something. Not that I don't appreciate all of the "typical" service, because I really do. But... the unexpected service really sticks out to me, maybe because I'm one of those people who sit there and think that I want to do something for someone, yet can't really think what to do or wait awhile to act on it. One example of this is how many care packages we received. Within 48 hours after Rylee was diagnosed, we had care packages delivered to our hospital room. I was blown away by how many people were so thoughtful to organize this. Not only did they have to shop for the stuff, they did it immediately, found the address to Primary Children's and sent it priority. These were so special to our kids and made us feel so loved. Another cool thing was unexpected visitors. Friends, family, co-workers and acquaintances who lived in SLC or were visiting the area who stopped in to say they had heard about Rylee and were thinking of us. For instance, a lady from our ward came by to visit. I vaguely recognized her, but had no idea what her name was. She said she was in Salt Lake, had heard about Rylee & wanted to bring something by. It was a darling book. She stayed for only a few minutes, but her simple act of kindness will always be remembered by me. It touched me that she was willing to go out of her way for some people that she didn't even know and who didn't know her. We've also been the recipients of several nice quilts that were made by strangers. Last year, our Dr.'s office handed me 3 quilts: One for Jace, Rylee and a baby blanket for Jaden (who wasn't yet born). They said they were made for us by the wife of a former patient who had recently died of cancer. She wanted to give back in some way and selected our family.

Good Medical Professionals: Boy, I've had enough run-ins with bad ones to really appreciate the good ones. I cannot say enough how blessed we are to have Dr. Hancock in our area. I'm so thankful for his qualifications, his hard work academically and professionally and for his consideration to our family. He is a father of young children himself and really does have a special relationship with Rylee (because he has a daughter a few months younger, so he is very relatable to her). She trusts him and I must say that I have added trust in him because he holds the priesthood. It's something you don't really think about, but when you're putting your child's life into the hands and care of someone else, you start caring about them using the guidance of a higher power. His staff and nurses are wonderful and have become a family to us. They converted one of their rooms into a pediatric room full of toys, books, little table, etc. and always have a doll, candy, juice and other treats to offer Rylee. They really do go above & beyond, which has eased our burden.

Thoughtful Friends: I just can't believe what some people are willing to do for you. Shortly after Rylee's diagnosis, two of my cute friends/neighbors went door to door and sold cookie dough to benefit our family. I about died when I heard that they had done this. For the past year, another friend/neighbor/ visiting teacher has been working on a book that she has written about Rylee and it's almost finished. Rylee's diagnosis really effected her. She said she sat down one night and was just inspired to write this book based on Rylee. She said it just all came together. She had a friend who's son had cancer, so she had a frame of reference for what these kids go through, etc. and just started writing. She then recruited an artist from the college to illustrate it who has donated her time and talents towards this book. They borrowed some pictures and all the illustrations are a character form of Rylee. I haven't read the whole thing because I want to be surprised by the final outcome, but the book is basically a light-hearted take on Leukemia. It's a story of a mom who has to tell her young daughter that she has Leukemia, but because of the girls age, she mis-interprets Leukemia and thinks her mom is telling her about a guy named Lou Kemia and this journey that he goes through or something to that effect. It's really cute because it's all rhymey and stuff. I've only been given a proof of the first page but it reads:

"Hi! I'm Rylee. And I am almost two. Something weird is going on, and I don't know what to do. Everyone is talking all around me, never to my face. I had to leave my home behind, and come to this strange new place. "

Anyways...I'm so excited to see it. She has put so much time, effort and energy into this & I am just so thankful. It will be a treasure for our family.

I've certainly learned that charity never faileth. We have been touched by so many generous people and have become very aware of all that we have to be thankful for. Between Rylee's cancer, a new baby, my dad's accident and just all the added stuff that comes with each of those it's definitely been a trying year, yet one that we have felt most blessed. I'm so grateful for the blessings that Rylee has received in terms of her body responding to and tolerating treatment. I'm so grateful that my dad's life was spared in his horrible accident and that we were given a beautiful blessing of a healthy baby boy who has brought love, life and added exhaustion into our lives-he really has kept us going and brought a new light into our home.

Pres. Faust once spoke on this very concept: "Out of the refiner’s fire can come a glorious deliverance. It can be a noble and lasting rebirth. The price to become acquainted with God will have been paid. There can come a sacred peace. There will be a reawakening of dormant, inner resources. A comfortable cloak of righteousness will be drawn around us to protect us and to keep us warm spiritually. Self-pity will vanish as our blessings are counted. The blessings of eternity will surely come to those who endure refining, as the Lord Himself taught: “He only is saved who endureth unto the end.”

Things were so different this time last year. We didn't know where this road would lead us. We didn't know what to expect day to day, let alone a year from then & now we are here. This past month I have been thinking how normal life feels right now. We've returned to a mostly normal pace-back in the swing of things. We are past the isolation and germaphobe state, we're old pro's at chemo/treatment and we can see a light at the end of this tunnel. Next year at this time Rylee will be at the end of her treatments. We are 5 spinal taps, numerous home meds and 13 hits of chemo away from having cancer be something of our past (cross our fingers, knock on wood, pray, hope, wish etc.). For that....we are so thankful.

Enjoy your feast!