Saturday, January 9, 2010

2009 Rewind

Boy, oh boy! How do I possibly sum up a year like we had? Let's just say that we had our plates full!

Ode to 2009:
To the world, it was the year that....
-The first black President of the United States took office.
-The King of Pop, Michael Jackson died.
-The Internet conceived yet another social networking site, Twitter.
-The Swine Flu (H1N1) pandemic swept the nation.
-The miracle plane landed on the Hudson River.
-Jon & Kate split up (& traumatized their 8!).
-Even Oprah announced that her show will come to an end.

Pretty big year!

In our little corner of the world, it was a pretty big one too. It looked a lot like this:

I spent much of my time just like this. On the couch- sick baby on one side, fussy baby on the other. It was truly a year that I just had to "let it go." My priorities were not to have an immaculate house, it was not spent doing hobbies and I cut out a lot of the extra stuff so I could focus on what was immediate and necessary. Some days my kids just needed me, so that's all I did. There were several times through the year that Pres. Hinckley's story of "forget yourself and go to work" ran through my head as I thought about all that I wasn't accomplishing. Honestly, I was just trying to survive day to day.

Our kitchen often looked like this. You'd think I'd be embarrassed by it, but under our circumstances, dishes were the least of my concerns. I did what I could do and occasionally others came & helped. It's hard to believe that all in a year, I was pregnant, had a baby, recovered from a C-section, was a nurse to a child with cancer, was exhausted with a fussy/spit uppy baby, served as enrichment leader, turned 30 and experienced one of the busiest schedules of my life with endless Dr. appts, hospital stays, carpools, speech, sports and just keeping up with being a mom and trying to keep a somewhat decent house.

Oh, and how could I forget the dreaded laundry? When Jace saw this picture, he said, "who did that to our laundry room?" It made me feel better that this isn't necessarily typical, but no joke..I have not been caught up with laundry the entire year. I swear a newborns laundry alone is hard enough to keep up with, but you add a sick child's laundry, then add extra potty training laundry, etc. You get the idea...it's basically impossible to keep up with it. Just when I would...someone would spit up, throw up or pee on their sheets, creating yet another load! I'm still working on getting caught up.

Mr. Jace had a pretty big year. He graduated from preschool and started his second year of preschool(after we had the big decision to send him to Kindergarten or not). He started his first year of sports- he did swimming lessons and soccer. He continued with his second year of speech- working on the letter R. At times Jace has had to take a back seat and although it hasn't always been easy for him, he's been very unselfish, understanding and a big help to us with the other two.


Here we go. Where do I ever start with Rylee? She's fought cancer, lost hair and grew hair. Said bye-bye to binky, potty trained and switched to a big girl bed. She got surgery to replace her central line with a port, had a few hospital stays, took medication daily, was visited by the home health nurse weekly, got treatments monthly and spinal taps every 3 months. She got to be part of the Primary Children's Miracle Network telethon and... She got to swim- yay! So thankful for all that's behind us with her.


And our little bubby. Certainly the only thing I could think of for awhile with this kid was how much of this he did. Not to mention all the spit up. Wow! It was not easy. And how can a blame the poor kid- he was not exactly born into the most calm situation. He's been a little high maintenance this year. We started out with blood in his tummy, then finally threw in the towel with nursing-(thinking something I was producing was making him so sick), then exhausted options trying out 7 different formulas, got no solutions from Dr.'s, so we just endured it. Finally at about 7 or 8 months things got better. And...after an entire year of not sleeping through the night, I'm happy to report that we've just recently gotten a couple nights of sleep. Yay!

But.... to redeem him, Jaden is turning out to be quite the little charmer. We've gone from colic to cute and are appreciating him much more now. He's totally intense and aggressive and full of energy. He's sat up, crawled, walked, gotten teeth, said first words, climbed stairs, ate solids, was blessed and all that other fun first year stuff. It's been quite the ride with him! He's definitely added an extra spark to the year. He has brought an increase of love in our home this year and almost look back thinking that things would have been boring if I took away all the action he has caused. He is so full of it!
I can't leave Justin out. He's managed to hold us all together this year. He is such a supportive husband who has equally shared the challenges of this year. He does whatever it takes. Things were hardest during his busiest season, yet he always balanced both. He's helped me in every way including housework, watching the kids, calming a fussy baby, giving me a break, taking Rylee to the ER, staying nights at the hospital, spending lunch hours helping with kids or appointments, etc. He is an involved dad who takes an active part in playing with the kids, knowing what they've got going on, supporting them, etc. He has been an excellent provider, taken on every financial aspect, has filled out a lot of forms, stays on top of all the bills and insurance stuff and has been there no matter what. I'm so grateful also to have a worthy Priesthood holder in our home- we've needed it quite a few times. I seriously don't know how I'd survive without him. He's also managed to serve as 1st counselor in Young Men's and fulfills all of his duties with that. It really is the busiest time of our life.

For our family, we enjoyed our annual vacation to Bear Lake and Jus and I had fun getaways to Lake Powell with our friends and Las Vegas with ourselves. Much needed! Life should be enjoyed, not just endured.
In our cancer world, I'll never forget all the work that this thing produced this year. Flushing it with saline and heparin every day, cleaning/changing the dressing (shown in picture), covering it for baths, having it restrict Rylee from hot tubs and swimming- what a pain. I don't miss this thing one bit. Getting the port was such a relief and eliminated a ton of work. Good bye central line.

Couldn't forget this one. Here's our little family camped out at Teton Oncology (practically our 2nd home this year). Treatments have just become such a part of our life, especially the first part of the year- we were there monthly, weekly or sometimes daily. I'm so thankful for their good staff who are awesome.

And...even though this is a little graphic, my dad's accident was also a huge part of our chaotic year. So much had happened, I honestly felt a little numb during all of this. We're beyond grateful for the blessings he has received in his recovery. He's come a long way from laying there in the ICU- it really could have gone the other way and I'm so glad it didn't.
Basically it feels like anything that could have happened, did happen this year. We will not miss 2009 at all- it's been our hardest one yet and are glad to put it behind us.
But...despite all that's happened, we're happy to report that we survived it and "Everything is OK." All is well that ends well, right? We are certainly looking forward to a better 2010!
{P.S. This tile was given to us by Justin's sister. The acronym IS OK stands for In Scriptures, On Knees- good reminder to rely on your faith and things really will be okay.}

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Christmas 2009

Christmas was great! It was nice to spend it with our family. I love how we can mix the big family gatherings with our own little family time. We are so grateful for the abundance we enjoy.

All Aboard the Taylor Train: We spend Christmas Eve at my parents. We usually start out with some sort of activity-sometimes we do service, sometimes crafts, last year it was Gingerbread houses. This year, each family made a candy train. They were fun to do with the kids. Then we have a nice dinner, followed by a little R&R. The girls usually talk and talk some more, the kids play, the guys...escape, I guess.

Then we move on to the traditional talent show. Always a hit for the kids. Jace decided on doing his back bend this year. Rylee did the splits (not real splits, more like sitting with legs out- Jace helped her extend them further.) My kids also sang Jingle Bells with some of their cousins. It's always fun to see what everyone comes up with. We then exchanged and opened gifts and ended the night with a couple of songs from the chimes.

Jace & Rylee were so excited to see what Santa brought. They didn't really want anything specific, so surprised they were. Thankfully they slept til 8 a.m. That's my kind of morning! We had them wait in the hall while we got the video camera rolling (naturally).


Santa brought Jace a football uniform, Razor Scooter and a remote control car (this was the only thing he actually asked for consistently). He's got his tough guy face on. We gave him a Touch 'N Brush and he loved it! Every time he sees the infomercial, he would tell us that he wants one and never forgot what it was called or the web site to order. He was honestly speechless when he opened it- so classic! He couldn't believe that we would remember to get that for him.

Miss Priss got a fancy lady dress. Total princess-check out her curtsy. She also got a Kitty Keyboard, which has provided hours of fun dancing music. So funny to watch her get her groove on. And the little Cozy Coup you see to the side of her is also hers, but Jaden is in love with it too.

It was our little bubby's first Christmas. He actually loves opening presents, especially gift bags. He was tearing things up as usual on Christmas morning-I think he quite enjoyed himself.

Here he is getting a ride in his wagon. He just loves to play with the big kids. It was so cute because they would get in the car and then pull Jaden in his wagon behind. It was their own little Christmas parade. Jaden just grinned as they went round and around the island.

Kids really do make Christmas. Well....and my husband doesn't do too bad either. Jus pulled out another big surprise this year by getting us a new dining table. I can't believe I haven't taken a picture of it yet...but I will. Jus scored too with some new golf clubs.

Christmas afternoon we went out to Justin's parents for a nice Christmas lunch and hung out there for the rest of the night. We did the Taylor family party on New Years Day.

Monday, December 28, 2009

From our house to yours.....

Hope you had a great Christmas!
Don't be offended if you didn't receive a real card. I way underestimated how many I needed to get printed and since I was a little late getting things in order this year, I was lucky to get what I had printed mailed out before Christmas.
So...here it is!
{My SIL Tasha did our pictures & designed the card. Good job Tash-we love them.}

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Jaden: The Little Prodigy

Check it out!

We've got a little prodigy on our hands. Jaden walked before he was 9 months old, now surprised us with his flute skills before he's even 10 months!

What's next? Algebra?

(P.S Don't mind my mommy voice on the video-sometimes I wish silent movies were still the thing.)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Kids & Christmas

Life with kids can be interesting.
They like to jump all over the bed after I just make it...
They basically undo everything I get done.

They mutilate small porcelain village people.....

I've been doing Superglue surgery all week on these guys.

But...they make Christmas special and magical. They love getting the Christmas stuff out and experiencing the wonderment of it all. I love how it's special because it's only out once a year.

I have a Christmas Village that I put up each year, but was considering just not worrying about this year. But I decided that I had to because Jace loves it and looks forward to it each year. After getting it out I even ended up waiting a day to put it up because Jace was having so much fun with them set up on the floor. He knows each little house: the Ski Lodge, the 2 flower shops, the police station, the five & Dime (which he calls the DI) and our new fire station we got last year. I've decided that it's really more for them than me now, so I tend to not get too upset if we end up with a few headless, armless, legless village guys.


I love Christmas time. The fun traditions, giving, sharing- all of it!

This year we shared a little message and treat with our neighbors. We made pretzel hugs, which we love & are so easy for kids to help with. Then we shared a Stories of Jesus advent from the children's Friend. If you're interested here's the link:

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=8361e3ec0bfcd110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=21bc9fbee98db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Full of Thanks

It's been a hard year. We've basically been on the "needy" list. Therefore, my heart is very full of thanks for so many who have helped us, served us, prayed for us and loved us. This Thanksgiving I wanted to record a few examples of unbelievable love and kindness given to our family. So many wonderful people have touched our lives this year.

One thing I've realized is that sometimes you have to lose some things to really realize how much you have. Ironic, but true. We have much to be grateful for.

So thankful for....

A strong support system: You know how some people wonder who would come to their funeral if they died? Well, having a tragedy in your family answers a similar question. Right after Rylee was diagnosed, we sent an email out to friends/family as a way to eliminate having to talk on the phone individually to everyone. I remember by the following day, I had something like 65 emails in my inbox (and that was just the first day, several followed later). Friends had forwarded it to friends, family forwarded it to family, Justin's co-workers were informed, neighbors passed it along and this amazing ripple effect happened. I completely broke down and was so overwhelmed by the outpouring of love we received. It totally gave me strength to realize how many people cared for us and were there willing to help in any way. We had people offering their homes to stay at, cars to use, food to be brought in, some sent scripture references for comfort, others offered names/resources of people they knew that went through something similar. I have saved and completely cherish these emails.

Our Blog: I know some people think blogs are stupid, but for me, it has been a great way to document our journey and share our experience with others. It's been completely therapeutic for me as well. I am sincerely thankful to all of our blog readers. You have been so supportive and encouraging. I appreciate your interest, concern and all of your kind comments. They have really kept me going and helped a lot on the hard days. I know at times it's been a little heavy, but thank you for letting me share.

Faith: I am eternally thankful for those who have kept our names in the temples and Rylee and our family in your prayers. There's just no way to describe the feeling of knowing that so many people are hoping, wishing and praying for the things that you so deeply desire in your heart. I've had strangers tell me that they have fasted on our behalf and others say that their testimonies have been strengthened through our experience. That's incredible to be a part of. It was so cute one day at church. Jace's little buddy came up to him and asked him how his sister was doing, then proceeded to tell Jace that his family has been praying for her. A couple other little neighbor girls also include Rylee in every prayer. How sweet.

Unexpected Service: I guess that some service is kind of expected-like people bringing you dinner after you have a baby or something. Not that I don't appreciate all of the "typical" service, because I really do. But... the unexpected service really sticks out to me, maybe because I'm one of those people who sit there and think that I want to do something for someone, yet can't really think what to do or wait awhile to act on it. One example of this is how many care packages we received. Within 48 hours after Rylee was diagnosed, we had care packages delivered to our hospital room. I was blown away by how many people were so thoughtful to organize this. Not only did they have to shop for the stuff, they did it immediately, found the address to Primary Children's and sent it priority. These were so special to our kids and made us feel so loved. Another cool thing was unexpected visitors. Friends, family, co-workers and acquaintances who lived in SLC or were visiting the area who stopped in to say they had heard about Rylee and were thinking of us. For instance, a lady from our ward came by to visit. I vaguely recognized her, but had no idea what her name was. She said she was in Salt Lake, had heard about Rylee & wanted to bring something by. It was a darling book. She stayed for only a few minutes, but her simple act of kindness will always be remembered by me. It touched me that she was willing to go out of her way for some people that she didn't even know and who didn't know her. We've also been the recipients of several nice quilts that were made by strangers. Last year, our Dr.'s office handed me 3 quilts: One for Jace, Rylee and a baby blanket for Jaden (who wasn't yet born). They said they were made for us by the wife of a former patient who had recently died of cancer. She wanted to give back in some way and selected our family.

Good Medical Professionals: Boy, I've had enough run-ins with bad ones to really appreciate the good ones. I cannot say enough how blessed we are to have Dr. Hancock in our area. I'm so thankful for his qualifications, his hard work academically and professionally and for his consideration to our family. He is a father of young children himself and really does have a special relationship with Rylee (because he has a daughter a few months younger, so he is very relatable to her). She trusts him and I must say that I have added trust in him because he holds the priesthood. It's something you don't really think about, but when you're putting your child's life into the hands and care of someone else, you start caring about them using the guidance of a higher power. His staff and nurses are wonderful and have become a family to us. They converted one of their rooms into a pediatric room full of toys, books, little table, etc. and always have a doll, candy, juice and other treats to offer Rylee. They really do go above & beyond, which has eased our burden.

Thoughtful Friends: I just can't believe what some people are willing to do for you. Shortly after Rylee's diagnosis, two of my cute friends/neighbors went door to door and sold cookie dough to benefit our family. I about died when I heard that they had done this. For the past year, another friend/neighbor/ visiting teacher has been working on a book that she has written about Rylee and it's almost finished. Rylee's diagnosis really effected her. She said she sat down one night and was just inspired to write this book based on Rylee. She said it just all came together. She had a friend who's son had cancer, so she had a frame of reference for what these kids go through, etc. and just started writing. She then recruited an artist from the college to illustrate it who has donated her time and talents towards this book. They borrowed some pictures and all the illustrations are a character form of Rylee. I haven't read the whole thing because I want to be surprised by the final outcome, but the book is basically a light-hearted take on Leukemia. It's a story of a mom who has to tell her young daughter that she has Leukemia, but because of the girls age, she mis-interprets Leukemia and thinks her mom is telling her about a guy named Lou Kemia and this journey that he goes through or something to that effect. It's really cute because it's all rhymey and stuff. I've only been given a proof of the first page but it reads:

"Hi! I'm Rylee. And I am almost two. Something weird is going on, and I don't know what to do. Everyone is talking all around me, never to my face. I had to leave my home behind, and come to this strange new place. "

Anyways...I'm so excited to see it. She has put so much time, effort and energy into this & I am just so thankful. It will be a treasure for our family.

I've certainly learned that charity never faileth. We have been touched by so many generous people and have become very aware of all that we have to be thankful for. Between Rylee's cancer, a new baby, my dad's accident and just all the added stuff that comes with each of those it's definitely been a trying year, yet one that we have felt most blessed. I'm so grateful for the blessings that Rylee has received in terms of her body responding to and tolerating treatment. I'm so grateful that my dad's life was spared in his horrible accident and that we were given a beautiful blessing of a healthy baby boy who has brought love, life and added exhaustion into our lives-he really has kept us going and brought a new light into our home.

Pres. Faust once spoke on this very concept: "Out of the refiner’s fire can come a glorious deliverance. It can be a noble and lasting rebirth. The price to become acquainted with God will have been paid. There can come a sacred peace. There will be a reawakening of dormant, inner resources. A comfortable cloak of righteousness will be drawn around us to protect us and to keep us warm spiritually. Self-pity will vanish as our blessings are counted. The blessings of eternity will surely come to those who endure refining, as the Lord Himself taught: “He only is saved who endureth unto the end.”

Things were so different this time last year. We didn't know where this road would lead us. We didn't know what to expect day to day, let alone a year from then & now we are here. This past month I have been thinking how normal life feels right now. We've returned to a mostly normal pace-back in the swing of things. We are past the isolation and germaphobe state, we're old pro's at chemo/treatment and we can see a light at the end of this tunnel. Next year at this time Rylee will be at the end of her treatments. We are 5 spinal taps, numerous home meds and 13 hits of chemo away from having cancer be something of our past (cross our fingers, knock on wood, pray, hope, wish etc.). For that....we are so thankful.

Enjoy your feast!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

This Just In....

It's amazing! This little stink (Jaden) isn't even nine months old yet & has already started taking steps. He has taken up to 5 at once so far, falls down and then is right back up & at 'em.
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He is so tiny, but full of ENERGY- it exhausting and hilarious at the same time. He's a little charmer and full of it. He likes to be in on the action & doesn't want to be left behind. He's got the cutest little grin, yet he's so intense. He's been able to stand independently for awhile now, so it's no surprise that's he's getting the walking thing down so quick. He is hands down my hardest child, but you just can't help but love the little dude. Sometimes I feel like I'm at the end of my rope with him & he'll just start laughing or have the biggest grin on his face as I'm trying to lecture him or play hard ball with him. Makes me remember to just appreciate him & hope that I'll be able to channel all that energy in the right direction. He'll be a go-getter, that's for sure. And probably an athlete too- he's so aggressive & already loves to wrestle/tackle the kids-it's so funny for his age.

I like to pull out the old "Be aggressive" chant on him every now & again.
B-E-AGG-RESSIVE, Aggressive...Be, Be Aggressive (clap, clap, clap)